I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
