why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
