Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
