return my video game
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
