And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
