I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize