he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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