I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
