i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize