i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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