How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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