Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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