Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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