can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
