So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
