if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it was like eating out sand paper
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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