i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
love makes seman taste better
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
