that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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