Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize