you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
