you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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