We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
