I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
