Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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