Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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