Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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