I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
