He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
