i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
