Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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