I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
