Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize