its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
