I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
