if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Plan B is the new Plan A
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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