bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize