there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
