Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We had sex on a dog bed..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
