Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize