We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
