I swear she didn't look like that last week.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I will pee on everything he values.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
