He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
