I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
