When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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