On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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