i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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