Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
