Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
