Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
