well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just gargled with NyQuil
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
