hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
