dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
