If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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