Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
