Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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