seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
