I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
