Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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