TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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