cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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