Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
