so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
