We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
