I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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