if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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