My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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