Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
