$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
